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What is Sex Positivity?

Sex positivity, or being sex positive, means having positive attitudes about sex, sexual identity, and sexual behaviors (Ivanski & Kohut, 2017). Being sex positive means being open to thinking and talking about sexual interest, pleasure, and decision making in a non-judgmental and confident way. Check out Salt-N-Pepa's take on what sex positivity is.

In the sections below, we cover different aspects of sex positivity like understanding the sex response cycle, what makes someone sex positive, consent, communication, and healthy relationships. The information below will help you learn what sex positivity is and begin to discover what being sex positive could mean and look like for you.

Cassette tape cover: Salt N' Pepa: Let's Talk About Sex!


What is the Sex Response Cycle?

The sex response cycle is the bodily reaction that you go through during a sexual experience. Everyone responds differently during sex (Georgiadis & Kringelbach, 2012) and by knowing this, you may be able to think more positively about different sexual experiences, including your own. More information about the sex response cycle.

Chart with "arousal" on the left axis and "time" on the bottom axis. Line with arrow rising through Phase 1, "excitement," flattening through Phase 2, "plateau," spiking in Phase 3, "orgasm," and descending in Phase 4, "Resolution"

Where do sex attitudes come from?

Like most other attitudes we hold, our experiences now and growing up impact our attitudes toward sex. The physical, emotional, and social settings where we live shape who we are (de Vries et al., 2015) and impact how we feel about and view sex. Thinking about how we learned about sex can help us understand the attitudes we have toward sex. Here are some things that influence how we experience and view sex to help you notice your own feelings about sex:

  1. Your own body (physical factors): Each body works differently during sex. Things like the food we eat and how we handle stress impact how our body feels and sexually performs (ODPHP, 2020). The way we think and feel about our body can influence how we think about sex. Being aware of how your body feels and how you feel about your body can help you be more aware of your attitudes toward sex.
  2. Your own feelings (emotional factors): Our feelings—even the non-sexual ones—impact how we think about sex. For example, people are less likely to enjoy sex when they are sad or stressed (Waite & Joyner, 2001). The way you feel about your previous sexual experiences can also make it hard to engage in new and healthy sexual relationships (Barkder & Galliher, 2020). If you or someone you know is struggling with feelings from past experiences, there is help available which can be found in the resources within the consent section below.
  3. The people around you (social factors): How you view sex can be affected by those around you and the sex education you received. Think about the messages you were given by sex educators. Were they positive and inclusive? Another social factor that impacts the way we think about sex is social media (e.g., Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat etc.), television, and music (Brown, 2010). Media often shows narrow ideas about sex in a way that is not realistic and doesn’t show the most positive parts of real sexual relationships (Brown, 2010). Few of these unrealistic relationships are sex positive or inclusive. Think about the relationships you see in your favorite TV show or online. Are they promoting sex positivity?

    Additional resources about influences

A circle with three rings: In the outer circle: Physical environment. Access to resources, plants, buildings, water, weather pollution, green space, population density. In the middle circle: Social Environment. Government, education, culture, social media, jobs, wealth and income distribution, community, laws. In the inner circle: Relational Environment. Family, significant other, peers, friends, relationships, coworkers, self-esteem.


What about Consent?

Being sexual with other people can be intimidating, but being sex positive can help it be a little less scary. Healthy sex can happen in a safe way with consent and respected boundaries (Haney, 2020), all of which contribute to sex positivity. Consent is an agreement to participate in a sexual activity (RAINN, n.d.). It is important to be able to give and receive consent for any type of sexual contact, as sexual contact without consent is rape (Planned Parenthood, n.d.). Consent is more than just saying “yes” or not saying “no”, it is enthusiastic and given without guilt. Asking for and giving true consent is part of being sex positive, and can build positive sex attitudes. Learn more about consent or sexual assault from Planned Parenthood and the Utah Women & Leadership Project.

Couple sitting on a wall talking

A gavel laying on top of a file that reads "Sexual Assault"

How can I be Sex Positive in a relationship?

Sex positivity is developed on your own and is something that plays a role in your relationship with yourself and others. Being able to recognize and talk about your own sexual likes and dislikes, such as where and how you like to be touched, can help increase your sexual pleasure and satisfaction (Herbenick et al., 2019). Sex positivity can also help with openly discussing a partner’s likes and dislikes and understanding that your partner experiences sex differently than anyone else. This type of open and positive communication helps to fulfill sexual needs (Georgiadis & Kringelbach, 2012). Ask your partner about their thoughts on sex and see if you have different ideas about sex positivity.

Additional Resources

Sex Positivity
Talking about Sex
Characteristics of Sexually Healthy Adults
Welcome to Sexplanations
LGBT and Sexual Health
What is Sexual Health
What Does Sex Positive Mean?

Sex Response Cycle
What Are the Four Phases of the Sexual Response Cycle?
Current Research on Sexual Response and Sexual Functioning Among Lesbian Women

Influences
Mass Media Influences on Sexuality
Determinants of Health

infographic USU Freshmen Retrospective Sexual Behavior Survey. Current Study: The study aims to create a valid, reliable, and inclusive survey that retrospectively assesses youth sexual behaviors. The results of this study will directly inform programming, resources, and policy across the state of Utah. Six States: Utah is one of six states who does not ask its youth the majority of sexual experience questions in the Youth Risk Behaviors Surveillance Survey. Most existing sexual behavior questions are heteronormative and therefore continue to marginalize LGBTQIA+ identifying youth. Progress to date: Our research team has: Interviewed health professionals at USU's Student Health Services; Formed and met with a USU advisory committee; Developed a Qualtrics survey; Piloted the survey with LGBTQIA+ affiliated organizations (e.g. Utah Pride Center, Encircle); Piloted the sruvey with current LGBTQIA+ identifying college students; Integrated the feedback we have received. How can this be used? The results of the survey will help USU organizations (SAAVI, CAPS, Queer Student Alliance, and Student Health Services) provide target programming and supports to students; Outside of the USU community, this survey could provide county specific insight about sexual behaviors and programming preferences: USU's mission as a land grant university. USU Advisory Committee: The USU advisory committee identified key areas to assess student perceptions and specific resource preferences: Ryan Barfuss- Prevention specialist at SHS; Emmalee Fishburn – Senior Prevention Specialist at Office of Equity; Renee Galliher – Associate Vice Provost and Professor of Psychology; Macy Keith – Program Coordniator of LGBTQIA+ Student Programs; Taylor Adams – Assistant Vice President of Regional Campuses. So What? Utah Researchers, organizations, and policy makers do not currently have accurate data on youth sexual behaviors to inform programming, policy, or to provide the most helpful community resources. What Are We Asking from You? We are asking that this survey be administered to all incoming freshmen students at USU (across campuses) fall semester (2021). This is a two-time request: 1. In 2021, we seek to establish the reliability and validity of our inclusive Utah college freshmen sexual behaviors survey. 2. In 2022, we plan to collaborate with Utah 2- and 4- year higher education institutions to collect data with a generalizable sample of Utah freshmen.

Student Research Products

USU students smiling working on a project at a library whiteboard

Created by Madeline Moyle. Heading: Participant Demographics. Utah College Sexual Behavior Survey (N = 1,172). We do not have a good understanding of the sexual behaviors of Utah youth, as the Youth Risk Behavior Survey in Utah does not ask youth to report their sexual behaviors. Consequently, there is minimal evidence-based information to inform Utah programming, legislation, and prevention measures. Additionally, most sexual behavior research and the programming that is informed by the research are largely heteronormative with an emphasis on penile penetration. To address these gaps, this study aimed to create and pilot a valid and reliable inclusive sexual behavior questionnaire and collect statewide retrospective sexual behavior data among Utah State University (USU) students ages 18-21. Heading: Year in School: Image: 4-part pie chart with Senior at 12%, Junior at 22%, Sophomore at 28.2%, and Freshman at 37.8%. Freshman: 0-29 credits; Sophomore: 30-59 credits; Junior: 60-89 credits; SeniorL 90 or more credits. Heading: Top five counties of participant high school attendance. Image: Bar graph of number of participants who attended high school in the county with Cache at 200, Davis at just below 200, Salt Lake at around 250, Utah at just above 200, and Weber at around 50. Heading: Age: 18 years: 34.2%; 19 years: 20.4%; 20 years: 20.6%; 21 years: 24.8%. Heading: Committed Relationship: 66.7% of participants were not in a committed relationship. Heading: Type of Committed Relationship: Pie chart showing 24.3% Married, 6.6% Engaged, 4.4% Cohabitating, and 64.4% Dating only one person.Heading: Participant Demographics. Utah College Sexual Behavior Survey (N = 1,172). Heading: Gender Identity. Pie chart showing 29.6% Male, 65.6% Female, and 4.9% Other identity. Heading: Sexual Orientation. Bar graph showing Heterosexual at 75, Bisexual between 0 and 25, Gay/Lesbian just below Bisexual, Asexual equal to gay/lesbian, queer just below Asexual, and pansexual just above 0. Heading: Race and Ethnicity: 9 in 10 participants identified as white/caucasian. Heading: Religion: Pie chart showing 60.9% Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 27% Non-religious, and 10.5% Different Religion. Heading: Family’s income during high school. Image: Bar graph showing number of participants who reported family income during high school with Less than $24,999 at about 30, $25k - $49,999 at about 110, $50k - $74,999 at about 175, $75k - $99k at about 180, $100k - $124,999 at about 185, and More than $125k just about 200.

Heading: Sexual Behaviors. Initial results from the Utah College Sexual Behavior Survey. Created by Jaclyn Miller. 51% of respondents did not use a condom when having penetrative sex in high school. 44% of respondents had non-penetrative or penetrative sex for the first time at 17 years or older* *among respondents who had non-penetrative or penetrative sex. 34% of respondents who had penetrative sex in high school always communicated about sexual boundaries, limits, and comfort levels prior to penetrative sex. 42% of respondents who had penetrative sex in high school had sex with more than one person. 34% of all survey respondents had non-penetrative sex in middle or high school. 19% of all survey respondents had penetrative sex in middle or high school. 19% of respondents who had penetrative sex in high school drank alcohol or used drugs shortly before penetrative sex. 43% of respondents who had penetrative sex in high school always communicated about sexual consent prior to penetrative sex. Reference: Meier, C., East, J., Marrett, T., Ferguson, M., Culianos, D., Ward, L., (2021). Initial Results from the Utah College Sexual Behavior Survey.